One of Those Days

I hate it when I wake up and feel like something is wrong,
something is off and my gut is in a knot
my head feels funny
it's like I'm on the verge of barfing
and the world is going by
sometimes at breakneck speed
and other times
with the speed of tree sap in winter
something is gnawing at the base of my mind
and I feel uneasy
and irritable
and downright pissy
but I'm an adult
so I smile
I put my best foot forward (whichever that is)
and I fight the urge to run away
to hide
to drink and smoke
and forget this feeling
and no body seems to notice that I feel (what is it exactly that I feel)
I'm not sure but nobody notices
and I endure
I guess it's just
one of those days

more daughter writing

Change Your Mind

i remember when
we first met
i never would have thought
we were so alike

i saw the pain
behind your eyes
i knew that pain
a part of my life

immediately
we became best of friends
i had finally found
exactly what i'd been looking for

i helped you
i became an ear to listen
a shoulder to cry on
a friend to love

in turn you helped me
you gave me purpose
to you
i was good enough

never had i experienced
such meaning
this friendship
seemed so right

i became dependent
perhaps too much
but this i didn't see
for things went so smoothly

then i was hit with a brick
you left
you placed walls
which i could not understand

you told me
you were unreliable
that caring for people
will only get you hurt

you broke my heart
and my world was devastated
i had to come to love
this friendship

but you couldn't let go
you came back
promising me
never to do that again

i believed you
things would be different now
i trusted you
that you would fix this mess

as time continued
we had our ups
those terrific times
in which my life couldn't be better

but the downs came too
the nights of abandonment
of wondering
what was wrong with me

what could make a friend
do that to another
what happened to love
to compassion

what happened to
i need you
and ill always be there for you
where were you now

i want to believe you
every time you apologize
i want to believe you
when you say you'll try

you have those moments
of awakening
your heart breaks for me
and you set forth to improve

but how long will it last
a week? a day?
how long until something else
replaces your consciousness

i am worn out
i would do anything
to change your mind
to get your attention

i blame myself
i should have never become
so dependent
but how couldn't i?

there's no denying
we have a connection
nobody else gets me
like you do

i am on my knees
i have lost my dignity
i am begging for you
to see what's been lost

i cry for you to want it
to need it like i do
i want it
i need it

i won't let go
i can't let go
i have nowhere else to go
no one else to go to

this is my final cry
prove yourself to me
prove that this friendship
means anything

i want you to want me
in your life
i want you to need me
as a friend

please
don't let me be
another name
another friend forgotten

More from my daughter

She's just so good I've gotta post her stuff

one

one drop can overflow a glass--
streaming down the edge
racing across the condensation
sliding through the table cracks
puddling on the floor.

it doesn't take much
after years of burrowed pardons
to reach the breaking point.
it only takes
one.

Reading

Somehow I forgot to read
the words and thought in black & white
had gotten replaced by the business of life
and the shit that comes with it

I received a gift in a friend
I read her writing and was inspired
inspired to write, and more importantly
to read

So that’s what I’m doing again
I’m writing
But more importantly

I’m Reading